Vomitrocious

Sweet weeping Jeebus.  The NYTimes has an article up today asking why schools suck worse now than they did when "A Nation At Risk" comes out, and then Slate runs this article about a mom who does everything for her son up to and just short of wiping his bum when he gets off the potty.  Anyone out there want to connect the dots?

Somewhere along the line, middle class parents decided that their kids should never, ever, ever encounter any hardship, difficulty, or challenge because, hey, they're middle class kids from nice families!  Somewhere along the line, they came to the conclusion that anyone who tells their kid "no," or "that's not good enough," or "you can do better" is a big, bad meanie who needs to be stopped!  Somewhere along the line, middle class parents began infantilizing their kids, hovering and monitoring and second-guessing and overriding any situation in which a kid might make a bad choice and (gasp!) suffer the consequences.  Somewhere along the line, middle class parents decided that their kids would never be cut from the team, fail to make honor roll, get fired from a part-time job, or have anything happen to them that could be construed as unpleasant, and if that were to loom on the horizon, why, mommy and/or daddy will step in and fix it!  Somewhere along the line, middle class parents came to the conclusion that their particular child is unique and special and precious and fragile, so much so that they must be coddled and swaddled and held by the hand at all times, figuratively if not literally.  Somewhere along the line,  middle class parents arrived at the conclusion that it was their job to run interference and defend their child at all times no matter what the circumstances.  No way could their child lie, cheat, manipulate, shirk, or just plain fail - everyone knows [insert person or issue here] is unfair/mean/biased against their child/[insert justification here]. 

For the love of Mike, this woman filled out eleven college applications on her son's behalf!  No WONDER he washed out of his first try at adult life.  He didn't even have an IDENTITY OF HIS OWN that isn't somehow an extension of HER!  She paid for private school for a kid who RARELY DID HOMEWORK!  Then she marveled that, gee, he didn't want to live at home and go to a juco in his hometown!  Gee, I wonder why not??? [Insert eye roll here here, followed by supercilious snort.] 

I'm truly surprised.  I've had two kids of my own, and as far as I could tell, they CUT that umbilical cord before we left the HOSPITAL.

Comments

[Auntie Sarah]

Google the terms "cell phones" and "helicopter parents" together, and you'll turn up 4,360 hits. Not a coincidence, that.

Back in the day, we college students talked to the parental units once a week -- and that was when we had a) their permission to call collect or b) the change to make the call on the dorm pay phone.

Yes, I did call home a LOT more than once a week when I was dreadfully homesick during my first month at college. But after a few 90-minute, weepy (on my side) conversations, they essentially said, "You're not coming home. You're not transferring. If you're still unhappy after a year, then we'll talk about you going to another school." Results? I made it through the whole four years at the same place.

But if I'd had a cell phone, I would have called hourly to describe my woes. In detail. Though I doubt my stalwart parents would have caved, even under such trying circumstances, I'm not surprised that moms and dads who want to be their kids' friend wind up saying, "What can I do to make it better, Pookie?" Ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

[Kerry]

Bonnie Goldstein is horrifying. At least it looks like her son finally figured out that he needed to take some baby steps away from her.